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6/28/18

Reflections


I wish my dad were still alive. 

As it is, all I can do is ensure I am always there for my child...in the physical, mental and emotional. And if God forbid my time should come early, at least she could hopefully know I always cared and always loved her, no matter what. 

And when I write 'no matter what,' I mean, the very worst she could be and I would still love her and be there for her... I would love her if she were in prison, strung out on drugs, binge drinking in a bar somewhere...I would go and pick her up 10,000 times in a row and still love her. I would question  where -I- went wrong as her parent. I would expect myself to have given her the knowledge that Jesus loves her no matter what, and I love her no matter what. I would hope for her to have a happy, safe, beautiful life... but we just don't ever really know, do we? 

I want her to be happy within herself, even in her darkest hour, that she can still find strength from God and love from herself. I want her to just know she is loved and accepted.... 

Because hurt may come to her, because life will probably seem utterly hopeless sometimes, and because I am the one who gave her life and (selfishly) made her come into this world-it's my responsibility to help get her through it safely, until she's 40+, if she'll have me. 

I don't fit in this life...I don't understand this world we live in... I am literally 'in the world but not of it...'

I suppose my struggles make me stronger, remember my Creator, and keep me humbled...

So my goals for the rest of my days:
Love God with all my heart, mind and soul. 
Be a good mom and wife. 
Be a good counselor to little kids. 
Be a good person to those I am in contact with.
Love my neighbor, and try to get thru this life sanely. 

And really, at the end of our '80ish' years on this planet....
Who cares so much about money, homes, furniture, cars, fans, status, making "it," when you have only yourself to take with you to Heaven... or the other place. 

I will always fight to keep safe. I will never let anyone stand in the way of my dreams. My dreams are get to Heaven-in tact and in worship of my Creator, no matter what this Earthly life brings against me.

I praise God for making it 36 years safely... I pray my next 36 are safe. Oh my goodness. 







4/20/18

Would I Ever Get Remarried? Probably Not.



When I was growing up, my parents got a divorce when I was 6, my mom tells me it was mostly due to my dad's drinking alcohol and them fighting.

He died on a Thursday and I had to go back to school the following Monday. I was 14.

I remember for many years during church or family functions, comments would be made to my mother about things like, "When do you think you'll get remarried?" or "been dating anyone special?"

I didn't really think much of her being asked things like this because I grew up learning from Disney movies the "value" of "being married" and finding a husband. All of my Barbies wanted a husband, a someone special. I'd been dreaming of having my own family and children since I was a young girl playing dress-up and dolls.

It wasn't until I was 30 years old, my daughter was just turning 2, and my husband left town for two weeks for work training that I found the realization of what life would be truly like without him.

It gave me so much more empathy for my mom.

Everything she went through was alone, but she never gave up on us. She never gave up hope and she never left us, abused us, or let anyone into our lives who would abuse us.

Why were people so quick to ask about her marital status instead of how life really was or the issues in the world that actually matter?

During the two weeks my husband was away, I started to realize how truly lonely it is for single moms. My mom was a single mom, but I never thought she was "lonely"-- she has us!!! Now I realize, it must've been extremely lonely for her. How did she stay sane?

While my husband was gone it was very lonely at nighttime. It was scary imagining what I would do if some crazy were to break in. It was awful to imagine what I would do if a pipe burst or leak started somewhere or I needed car help with a large insect or....

Anyhow. I'm not saying things could change and one never knows what might happen, but, I already know in my heart and mind I would just surrender my life to God and go about the rest of my days serving Him and helping children, if I were to ever end up single..

I can't imagine starting over. I can't imagine going to another wedding, another anything...

This is it for me. Just like my mom, I don't think I ever could remarry.





12/22/17

Baby Bubbles on a Budget



We have tried a multitude of bubbles during my daughter's bathtime over the past couple years. I love "Babyganics bubble bath" because it's overall the best deal in my opinion.

First off, it's easy to find - Target. Second, the bubbles actually LAST through an entire bath! And lastly, it's made with extra gentle plant-based ingredients. ($5.99)



"Specially formulated to preserve the natural barrier protection of delicate skin and mucosal tissue to keep baby healthy and happy.

NeoNourish Natural Seed Oil Blend is designed to help nurture and support the unique needs of baby's skin. Natural tomato, sunflower, cranberry, and red raspberry seed oils help support healthy skin development and deliver antioxidant protection."


Beginning of bath bubbles...

End of bath bubbles...

Free from parabens, sulfates, phthalates, mineral oil, petrolatum, synthetic fragrances. Tear free. Never tested on animals. A win-win-win. :)


**No compensation has been made for this review. Just a happy consumer sharing an opinion.**


8/25/17

"Mommy I want a new planet.."


My five-year-old recently told me, "Mom, I just want to live on a new planet."

We were just getting out of the car, into the hot desert 100 degree sun. She really hates 100-degree weather. In some ways, it is truly unbearable: desert life.

And truth be told, other than playing 'Super Mario Galaxy' Wii with her dad on occasion...I don't really know where she got this idea. We haven't talked about other planets, yet...

So I was kind of in awe. How can a little kid think of such funny ideas on their own..? I just love it. I love the innocence of little children.

The other day, I was telling God I felt kind of sad that I would be going back to work soon, and, leaving my little life here. Five years of stay-at-hom mommy-hood has now come to an end, as my little one will start Kinder this month, and for our family's sake I need to go back to work.

Prior to my life as a stay-at-home mom, I worked as a licensed insurance associate, also as a government licensed area director overseeing au pairs, and for 7 years as a marketing assistant for a media group which hosted a local news station and 4 radio stations.

I feel the best years were staying home with my daughter, compared to alllll of my working years.

In the business world, you can seriously be replaced pretty quickly, no matter how many years you put in. If you quit or are let go, there is almost always someone ready to "fill your role" in about 2 weeks time.

As for a mom? That "role" is pretty much irreplaceable.

We as humans have this hungry desire to have parents, have love, and acceptance. We also usually want to 'please our parents.' Sometimes we grow up and realize we can never please them, while some of us have been able to please our parents no matter what. I just really hope... I am pleasing God, and that at the end of this life, he will still be pleased with me and love me..






5/12/17

Jesus explaining marriage in the afterlife...


Luke 20:27-40King James Version (KJV)
Then came to him certain of the Sadducees, which deny that there is any resurrection; and they asked him, Saying, Master, Moses wrote unto us, If any man's brother die, having a wife, and he die without children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother. There were therefore seven brethren: and the first took a wife, and died without children. And the second took her to wife, and he died childless. And the third took her; and in like manner the seven also: and they left no children, and died.  Last of all the woman died also. Therefore in the resurrection whose wife of them is she? for seven had her to wife. And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage: But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage: Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection. Now that the dead are raised, even Moses shewed at the bush, when he calleth the Lord the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him. Then certain of the scribes answering said, Master, thou hast well said. And after that they durst not ask him any question at all.


- - - - - - -


(Mark 12:18-27Luke 20:27-40, Matthew 22:23-33) 
23The same day came to him the Sadducees, which say that there is no resurrection, and asked him, Saying, Master, Moses said, If a man die, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother. Now there were with us seven brethren: and the first, when he had married a wife, deceased, and, having no issue, left his wife unto his brother: Likewise the second also, and the third, unto the seventh. And last of all the woman died also. Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her.
Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. But as touching the resurrection of the dead, have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying, I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living. And when the multitude heard this, they were astonished at his doctrine.


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The Greatest Commandment
34But when the Pharisees had heard that he had put the Sadducees to silence, they were gathered together. Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.






12/8/16

One Day at a Time



Honestly, sometimes I can barely handle the day-to-day stresses of "this life," without feeling like I just might fall apart. Every stressful email, or to-do task, or disgruntled family member, or work problem etc....I just sometimes want to fall into my bed and not get back up.

But of course, that's not really an option. Of course I have to continue on. I see things through Christian eyes now, and I tell you, it's actually a lot harder in some ways to now get through life. Before, when I could dull my spiritual senses to mundane church tasks and once per week visits to "worship God," I just didn't even realize the prison we all live in. Yes, part of me asks God, how can you just leave us here? How can you bear even one child sacrifice, or rape, or murder or torture, How? I am not given the answer just yet, because it probably won't be made clear until this is all over.

But my gosh, to be born in the 1980's...in America...in the midst of all this psycho illumi-loser world elite running our lives through demonic forces and blablabla....like damm! I just thought we lived in the world, tryin to survive, and that was it!

EPHESIANS 6:12 ~ "FOR WE WRESTLE NOT AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST PRINCIPALITIES, AGAINST POWERS, AGAINST THE RULERS OF THE DARKNESS OF THIS WORLD, AGAINST SPIRITUAL WICKEDNESS IN HIGH PLACES."

Yes, this world is a crazy dimensional holographic who-knows-what, and I am still trying to survive, but by the grace of God I am trying. I'm trying to go on and find a strong enough will in myself to never give up. I don't know. I am literally overwhelmed with the truths of our existence. I cling to my Bible, and some may make fun of me, but I don't care because even some in my own family have turned me away...so what do I care if a stranger does as well?

I just want this world to be over already...ready for the 1000 years with Jesus Christ, ready! I pray God would let it end; all of the misery and suffering of children and women in this world. I pray for my soul, for mercy and protection from our enemies...and God has shown me so many things I need to be made aware of as a true follower of Jesus.

Yet despite the hoping for the end, I am dang thankful for the beauty of this life... to just be a part of it... to be able to still make a difference, have a voice, be a human and glorify God... I'm thankful God didn't end my life any sooner... I'm thankful I can turn away the devil and hail Jesus in the name of the Father and the Holy Spirit.... I'm thankful to be given the gift of the Holy Spirit to discern...and I'm thankful God found enough in me to give me mercy that I don't deserve.

As parents, as the "creators" of our kids, we think it's great when they love us in return, when they say nice things to us and show us love...so what must it be like when God created us, and waits for us to glorify Him, talk to Him, be his friend also....and we actually do! I bet He is truly filled with a little bit of happiness from each of us, and I can only humbly ask to be a part of His heavenly body and to be written in the book of life, amen.

I will never entertain the thought of suicide, because, God has strengthened me and humbled me, and has given me a second chance at life, to avoid hell at ALL cost, and to be able to walk with Jesus when he comes to this Earth to save mankind.

JOHN 3:17 KJV - "FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH, BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE."

In Jesus' name, Amen.




9/21/16

Introverts {&} Extroverts


I wanted to share an extremely enlightening personality distinction from the book, "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. 


HOW WE GET OUR ENERGY

"Extraversion and introversion describe how we get our energy, an important dimension of personality development. Spirited kids need energy to manage their strong temperament. It takes a great deal of effort to express intensity as assertiveness rather than aggressiveness."

{INTROVERTS.}

"Introverts get their energy by being alone or with one or two special people. They prefer to interact with the world on the inside by reflecting on their thoughts and ideas before sharing them with others on the outside. They refresh themselves by spending time alone. If they get it, they'll play well with other kids and be more cooperative. If they don't get (alone time) they'll get surly and nasty."

{EXTROVERTS.}

"Extroverts draw their energy from others. They prefer to engage the world around them outside their bodies by talking with people, sharing ideas and experiences. If they don't have the opportunity to talk, they get crabby and more demanding because they are running out of steam. If they are allowed to recharge by being with other people they are fine."

~~~~~~~

Yes, as an Introvert, I can validate that the only way for Introverts to "unwind" and gain energy is by having alone time. It doesn't even have to be very long. A half hour to an hour is often plenty. When your Introvert child gets home from school, or your Introvert spouse gets home work, ask them a polite "how was your day?" And don't take it personal if they answer a short "fine" and continue on to their room to read, play a video game, and just unwind for a bit. You want a happy kid? Please give them the space they need.

"Traditionally the term introvert has described someone who is shy and socially unskilled. It's important to remember ...introversion and extraversion do not describe social skills. They explain how we get our energy. Both introverts and extroverts can be very savvy interacting with people. The key is what happens afterward. The introvert will be drained and ready for a nap...whereas the extravert will be wound up and ready for more action."

Introverts are drained as they socialize. Sharing space also takes lots of energy from introverted Spirited children. If an introvert is busy, it's very difficult to be interrupted (even just by stopping to say hello or "good job"). Interruptions rob energy, create a loss of focus and annoyance.

Another point I will make about Introverts is that if/when they are ready to share something, they will. But when pushed to "figure out their feelings" on a time limit, they will most likely either shut down or become grumpy. Don't be surprised if you sit back, give them space, listen and don't judge if they start to open up more.  Introverts have to guard their energy supplies. "If you want your introvert to be socially respectful, teach him to say hello, then allow him to finish his task. By doing so, you respect his energy supply" (Kurcinka, 2004).

I have known extroverts who when not around someone to talk with, share ideas, get feedback and tell their stories to for an extended period of time become quite grumpy. Extroverts need to talk in order to make decisions. "They are energizing themselves by interacting with others. Any activities that will allow your (extrovert) child to interact with others will build her energy supply." They really need to hear how good they are doing, approval, lots of positive feedback to recharge. Extroverts are usually first to volunteer for committee's or group meetings at work and make excellent friends.

Pay attention to your friends, family members and co-workers, and you will be surprised at the distinctions. :)


Source:

Kurcinka, M. S. (1998). Raising Your Spirited Child. New York, NY: HarperCollins. 


4/14/16

Mayonnaise Tricks


Mayonnaise Tricks from a great article from:    diynetwork.com  by Mick Telkamp

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Mayonnaise does not end with lunch. This perfect blend of oil, acid and protein can be used in unexpected ways well beyond tuna salad.  Consider some of these great uses for homemade (or even store-bought) mayo outside the kitchen.
1. Sunburn relief: Cold mayonnaise will soothe a sunburn, provide much-needed moisture and the vinegar even serves as a natural anesthetic.
2. Remove tar: Apply a bit of mayo to road tar, let it rest a few minutes, then wipe it clean.
3. Condition hair: Mayonnaise is a nearly perfect combination of moisturizing oil and nutrient-building egg proteins to help revitalize dry hair. After washing hair, apply a thin treatment of mayonnaise and let rest one hour before rinsing to bring body and shine back to damaged hair.
4. Shine houseplants: An old trick. Rub a little mayo onto plant leaves with a paper towel and wipe clean to add a healthy shine to houseplants.
5. Strengthen fingernails: Immerse fingers in mayonnaise for 5 minutes or so to strengthen nails and restore cuticle health.
6. Kill lice: A thick coating of mayonnaise applied to the hair and left overnight will kill lice without the need for expensive chemical treatments. Nits are not affected, and multiple applications would be necessary to fully eradicate those pesky critters.
7. Lubricate hinges: All out of WD? Smear a little mayo on a door hinge to stop that squeak.
8. Restore wood furniture: Water stains will wipe away with a brief application. If cracks have formed on wood surfaces, fill the cracks with mayonnaise, and leave it for a few days before wiping clean. The combination of oil and protein will cause the wood to swell, closing up those unsightly scratches and gaps.



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