One Day at a Time
Honestly, sometimes I can barely handle the day-to-day stresses of "this life," without feeling like I just might fall apart. Every stressful email, or to-do task, or disgruntled family member, or work problem etc....I just sometimes want to fall into my bed and not get back up.
But of course, that's not really an option. Of course I have to continue on. I see things through Christian eyes now, and I tell you, it's actually a lot harder in some ways to now get through life. Before, when I could dull my spiritual senses to mundane church tasks and once per week visits to "worship God," I just didn't even realize the prison we all live in. Yes, part of me asks God, how can you just leave us here? How can you bear even one child sacrifice, or rape, or murder or torture, How? I am not given the answer just yet, because it probably won't be made clear until this is all over.
But my gosh, to be born in the 1980's...in America...in the midst of all this psycho illumi-loser world elite running our lives through demonic forces and blablabla....like damm! I just thought we lived in the world, tryin to survive, and that was it!
EPHESIANS 6:12 ~ "FOR WE WRESTLE NOT AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST PRINCIPALITIES, AGAINST POWERS, AGAINST THE RULERS OF THE DARKNESS OF THIS WORLD, AGAINST SPIRITUAL WICKEDNESS IN HIGH PLACES."
Yes, this world is a crazy dimensional holographic who-knows-what, and I am still trying to survive, but by the grace of God I am trying. I'm trying to go on and find a strong enough will in myself to never give up. I don't know. I am literally overwhelmed with the truths of our existence. I cling to my Bible, and some may make fun of me, but I don't care because even some in my own family have turned me away...so what do I care if a stranger does as well?
I just want this world to be over already...ready for the 1000 years with Jesus Christ, ready! I pray God would let it end; all of the misery and suffering of children and women in this world. I pray for my soul, for mercy and protection from our enemies...and God has shown me so many things I need to be made aware of as a true follower of Jesus.
Yet despite the hoping for the end, I am dang thankful for the beauty of this life... to just be a part of it... to be able to still make a difference, have a voice, be a human and glorify God... I'm thankful God didn't end my life any sooner... I'm thankful I can turn away the devil and hail Jesus in the name of the Father and the Holy Spirit.... I'm thankful to be given the gift of the Holy Spirit to discern...and I'm thankful God found enough in me to give me mercy that I don't deserve.
As parents, as the "creators" of our kids, we think it's great when they love us in return, when they say nice things to us and show us love...so what must it be like when God created us, and waits for us to glorify Him, talk to Him, be his friend also....and we actually do! I bet He is truly filled with a little bit of happiness from each of us, and I can only humbly ask to be a part of His heavenly body and to be written in the book of life, amen.
I will never entertain the thought of suicide, because, God has strengthened me and humbled me, and has given me a second chance at life, to avoid hell at ALL cost, and to be able to walk with Jesus when he comes to this Earth to save mankind.
JOHN 3:17 KJV - "FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH, BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE."
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Posted by TrueColorWorld