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If one door closes...then what?

You know the saying, "When one door closes another one opens..." 

As a millennial, I see time and time again, in my own life and those of close friends, this seeming inability to accept a door closing without trying to force open that other door.

Sometimes it's just really hard to see the big picture. But the point is, there is help out there, if we just pay attention and stop trying to force things that aren't meant to be. All we can do is the best we can, have empathy for others, be grateful for our blessings, and realize the value of time here on this Earth. Time is the only thing we are guaranteed to run out of is time.  : / 

The truth is... everyone has problems. I think as a younger generation we see too many movies and fairtytales about people searching for or going off to have a "perfect life" -- and we wonder if we will ever get there ourselves. But I think, even the richest billionaire...has a wayward child, or cancer in his bones, or an unfaithful partner... So it's really pointless to seek someone else's "happiness" when we never really know. People can be pretty good at hiding the bad. We often don't see it because we are stuck in our own cities in our own lives.

The only reason we've started to see into others' lives over the past two decades is video and instant communication; the shows and reality series that really change your mind about judging anyone, because you just never really know

Sometimes it's hard to remember not to judge yourself. But my husband always reminds me of something my father once told me, which I wrote about in my journal...

"Don't be so hard on yourself." 

I let the stresses of life bring me down sometimes. Why do I get so overwhelmed I get snappy or feel ungrateful in my heart and think of my mistakes and let them weigh me down? I have to stop this innate negative trait that has been almost instilled in me since a small child -- one of worry...

I have to decide to fight for good things in life and to remember that just living on the soil I live on is enough. It's far from fancy, but it's freedom. But some would have us think its the car we drive or the house we live in. It's not. It's about who you are in your soul, even when no one is looking.

We are conditioned as a millennial generation to believe "money buys happiness." But the truth is, it buys comfort, yes, but surely not happiness. Happiness comes from within; so that no matter how much money you have (or don't have) are happy in your heart because of who you are, where you've come. Just watch "The Queen of Versailles" (2012) for an amazingly insightful documentary on what greed and wealth can do to people. 

We still have time. Time to communicate with someone else. Time enough to have a voice, make a change, find a positive way to reflect back to the world. 

I am sick of forgetting all of my blessings from God and feeling like life isn't fair to me. It's as fair as it's ever going to be, so I need to just accept things for the way they are and try to make a difference for something or someone I care about.

Because one day my little daughter will grow up and leave me. And I don't want her to remember her mom as "negative nancy" who was always in a rush, or stressed out...I want her to (hopefully) remember these years as some of the best and happiest in her life. 

Dont let anybody take away your precious time.

I ask myself, "Can you walk outside with your little daughter and see the sun and feel the warmth on your shoulders and listen to the birds chirping without hardly any worry of being attacked or threatened?"

Yes? That's freedom.

And if the answer were "no" then maybe that is reason to look into how one can possibly get to a place in life where you can go outside and feel the sun and be free. I'm talking even the gal in prison who's made some crappy life decisions. Even she could change, deciding "life is going to change for me. From this moment on, I will be the more obedient, learn as much as I can, read as much as I can, and find away to get away from the choices that have led me to this path. I'm going to do everything I can to appeal and get out of here so I can make a positive change for my family and my future generations."

I is possible one could, even in the most dire of circumstances, bring some sort of positive out of their sadness. I shudder at my student loan bills but I just keep trudging along hoping to make something of my years in school; even though I'm "just a mom" now.

I have such admiration and respect for the mother of little Samanth Runnion. Samantha was abducted and murdered in 2002, at only 5 years old. Her mother started the "Joyful Child Foundation" in her memory, which is dedicated to preventing crimes against children through programs that educate, empower and unite families and communities.  
To go on with her life speaking out to others -- to help other parents and bring justice for her little daughter... I mean...that's true human strength, kindness, dignity and empowerment. That's someone I wonder where she gets her strength and determination. My heart literally breaks for this woman. I've never met her and probably never will...but my eyes have cried tears for her heart, for her little girl...for the sorrow and sadness that this Earth and the monsters here can bring. It's just too terrible to face sometimes.

So when I start to feel "oh poor me...." it's like honestly, I have to just remember it's not about me. It's just not. It's about helping others, and helping my family generations to understand and live better because of me.

I can't do this life by myself. I love asking others for advice and changing year to year based on new things I learn and more empathy I gain. I have a voice and I appreciate what I have been given; an opportunity to learn from mistakes and to try to make a difference for others. 

In closing, I've always liked this quote:

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WOW-- What a Ride!!!    - H. Thompson

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songs for feeling stronger-

I’m Not Afraid - Eminem
Try - P!nk
Big Girls Don’t Cry - Fergie
Keep Ya Head Up - Tupac
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
Sweetest Girl - Wyclef Jean 
Waterfalls - TLC
The Climb - Miley Cyrus

Awesome CoverGirl commercial for 2014

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“Cause sometimes, you just feel tired. Feel weak. And when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up. But you gotta search within you. You gotta find that inner strength, and just pull that sh#t out of you. And get that motivation to NOT give up and NOT be a quitter. No matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.” -Eminem